I just wanted to take an extra minute and thank everyone for their kind words and prayers ... I've been in autopilot for the last almost 2 weeks and I took a quiet moment tonight to read all the "responses"... I sobbed and prayed and sobbed. I felt the love and warmth wrap around me like a blanket.
Thank you so much for your continual prayers and support. As chase begins rehabbing, he will need strength and support. He is surrounded by balloons, shoes, stuffed animals, goodies and kind words. Thank you so much. It has made this time more bearable to see another stuffed animal come through the door. To see him take notice ... Words cannot describe.
Last week at this time, I was hunched over pleading with the Lord to bring my baby back. I was thinking of our last conversation on the phone - because we had been out of town for the last 10 days. I was thinking of how I was in a loud restaurant and it was too loud to talk and that I told him that I would call him back. Time slipped away and I never did. I was going over and over and over it in my mind. "what if those were the last words I ever get to say to my son?" it pierced me, cut me and I pleaded with the Lord for another chance.
Chase is, and continues to be, a miracle. When he was born - he was in the NICU. Now, at 9, in the PICU. This child has a work to do and I need to shape up, rise up and be the best mom that I can be. This has humbled me beyond words; time stood still. I am so grateful for a second chance. The fact that we are fitting chaser for foot braces, and not a casket: gratitude and perspective.
Thank you all for all your love & support. It continues to allow me to function, take care of myself and, most importantly, my precious son.
Jen
Hi Jen, I'm so glad that Chase is making slow progress and reacting to all the bright and cherry items in his room. But don't beat up on yourself with the what ifs or what you did or didn't do before. You are here for Chase and he feels all the love you have for him. Your extended family also knows how difficult this is for you and your family and all the thoughts and prayers, I'm sure are helping you all through. You are a wonderful, strong and loving mother and you need to keep your strength up so I'm sending some special prayers for you as well as Chase. We love you and hope that Chase keeps improving slow and steady. Love, Aunt Clorinda.
ReplyDeleteHi Jennifer, listen to the sensible advise of Aunt Clorinda, no matter that you did not return that particular call, Chase knew then as well as he knows now that he is your world... Stay strong as we all will continue to send prayers to Chase and your whole family! You are loved beyond words and more than you can imagine!!
ReplyDeleteXOXO the Dunne's